Some Wee incidents
The Assistant wants me to write on here about two 'incidents' as she calls them. I don't really care so will humour her.
There is some speculation that I may have a urine or kidney infection although I feel fine & she needn't worry. Just to reassure readers, before we go any further, that the Assistant is looking into the possibility, just in case.
Here I am sitting as a loaf on the shelf where one of the incidents may have taken place. As you can see it's a cat sitting place. Wee was discovered underneath. "Quite a lot of wee" she says. It was on top of a pile of papers in a wire basket. This excludes the Assistant & the Dog Monster from culpability (she says this is a better word than 'blame') as they are both too big to get onto the shelf. Thomas may have done it but - he isn't as nimble as I am & doesn't usually go onto the shelf - so I am primarily in the frame for this one.
Thomas often gets away with things though.
She says she woke up about 3am. She was restless & disturbed Dog Monster - they were both in the bedroom with the door shut as is now usual at night.
DM decided he would like to go outside so she took him down to go out in the back garden which he did, as he always does first thing in a morning. Myself & Thomas both woke up, obviously, & peered out of the door but decided to go to the kitchen to see if there was a food opportunity - which there was but only a snack. The Assistant then told us to go back to sleep as it was still nighttime.
This is now The Assistant's version of things.
Around 5am the same morning she was disturbed by Thomas miaowing loudly for a couple of minutes which is fairly unusual so she got up to find him coming up the stairs, still miaowing. He then ran downstairs so she went down & opened the back door for both of us cats to go out, which we did. She then noticed a "strong smell of wee" & saw the incriminating large wet patch down the side of the settee & on to the carpet.
She has no proof but she thinks it was me. Her reasoning is that Thomas nearly always uses the litter tray at night - he's an old man so needs to go. I had been woken up & she thinks would have actually wanted to go out 'on the prowl as she so nicely puts it. I do like going out under cover of darkness, it's rather exciting & you never know what little creatures might be about.
She hadn't let me go out because it was "the middle of the night". She had hoped we would go back to sleep & now thinks I may have done the "enormous wee" as revenge & that Thomas came miaowing to tell her what had just happened. Well, he is a bit of a snitch, we know that. And she is prone to exaggeration. And, I'm not admitting anything, but maybe I needed to go as it could have been ordinary morning time as far as I knew. We have a bite to eat & then I go out. That's what we do but she didn't let us this time. It's all her fault, obviously. (this is not The Assistant's version now is it? Ed.)
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| I mean, really, do I look naughty?? (yes, Ed.) |
In the past there have been puddles on the laminate flooring by the front door but the Assistant says she didn't mind those. She never went round telling people & blaming me as she didn't know if it was myself or Thomas. She is making a fuss because these 2 incidents have been hard to clean up. Isn't that just typical of the Assistant? She says the smell doesn't go away. Always complaining.
As it is, she is closing her office door at night now & has removed my sitting place - would you believe it?! She saw me sniffing the shelf today where the first incident took place & thinks that adds to her hypothesis that it was me wot did it. "Circumstantial evidence" she calls it.
I'm going now. We are no further forward. She has no proof but is watching me like a hawk - or like me watching for a mouse!
Bye for now. Happier Greetings next time
Lots of love, Jason / OJ / Othello
xxx
